Today's post about Opening Hooks reminded me to search the net for this year's winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Like a late night horror movie, it's so bad it's good:
She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight . . . summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp's tail . . . though the term "love affair" now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism . . . not unlike "sand vein," which is after all an intestine, not a vein . . . and that tarry substance inside certainly isn't sand . . . and that brought her back to Ramon.
-- Dave Zobel
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